"Would you feel safe with this man looking after you?

That was the caption under the picture of Rocker,Ted Nugent, in last Tuesday’s Guardian. Nugent had volunteered to be Sir Paul McCartney’s “Bodyguard” when he played a concert in Israel.

Unfortunately,this is what our industry has to tolerate. Many people, from broken down celebrity deer hunters to jail guards think that if you know how to shoot a rifle or open a gate for inmates to go to the yard, it automatically follows that you know everything about protecting the life of a executive.

So, Ted Nugent knows how to play guitar and shoot deer. Just what part of that background would equip him to keep the former Beetle safe in the Middle East? It is certainly not like Mr. Nugent is trying to pull the wool over our eyes when it comes to any specialized training he may have received. “I’m Dirty Harry with a ponytail”, claims the singer.

First of all Mr. Nugent, “Dirty Harry” was a film produced by Hollywood to entertain people, not a “training aid”. Secondly, even if we were to stretch our imaginations and consider Harry Callaghan’s actions, we would recall that the character was a Police Detective and as such, would have undergone rigourous training at a professional Police Academy.

Refering to reported Islamic Extremist Death Threats made against McCartney if he insisted on playing the concert, Nugent informed us that he “will not bend or waiver to Voodoo Religions or Whackjobs”.

It is unknown whether or not Mr. Nugent thinks that Islamic Extremists come from Haiti, but if he is serious about a future career in Executive Protection, we would advise him to attend our upcoming course in Dubai next month where he will not only learn first hand the Art of Personal Protection, but he will also learn about Middle Eastern Cultures, Tradition and Religion.

Unfortunately, there’s no way of predicting how much culture we may be able to pass on to Mr. Nugent, as the course is only a little over a week long. We will also be teaching etiquette and which knife and fork to use when attending a formal event with your Principal. That’s right Ted, you don’t get to tear the meat from the bone with your hands.

Someone call the U.A.E. and let the Hilton know that we may have to stay longer than planned.

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